#254 / Let's (Not) Hear It For Narcissism

Stephen Kessler, Santa Cruz poet and pundit, who writes columns for the Santa Cruz Sentinel, is now preaching the benefits of "self-indulgence," "self-enrichment," and "narcissism." Kessler's commentary on September 9, 2023, was titled, "Self-enrichment is an antidote to despair." 

"Let's hear it for narcissism," Kessler advises.

I am not at all sure that clicking that link, above, will get you past the paywall maintained by the Sentinel, so I am providing the full text of Kessler's column at the end of this blog posting. Here's a brief excerpt that will give you a pretty good idea of what Kessler is getting at: 

There is [a] kind of conduct that in my experience can give one the strength to carry on in turbulent atmospheric conditions; even to thrive in the most discouraging historic circumstances, as now. I’m thinking of self-enrichment — not financial but let’s call it cultural or intellectual or experiential self-development as both a means of flowering and of fortitude, and as an end in itself.

There is, of course, some truth in what Kessler is saying. Focusing on what will enrich us, individually, can help us insulate ourselves from the "coming months and years of extreme weather, endless wars, economic turmoil, legal drama, political chaos, social agitation and psychic pain" that Kessler is predicting. 

However, I think that Kessler's prescription is wrong. Kessler is telling us his idea of how best to "flower," individually, in a world that is going to hell. I think we need to change the world, and we can't do that individually.

The premise of Kessler's advice is that we live in this world as individuals. And.... there is some truth in that, which is why there is some truth in what Kessler is saying. 

However.... we are not only a collection of individuals. We are also, and very importantly, together in this life, and Kessler's formula ignores that - and thus misses what will really provide us with the fortitude to live on, and to "flower," as we confront the sometimes very grim realities that Kessler lists. 

To build our fortitude and to "flower" we need to stop looking into the mirror of our own, individual lives, and get together in activities of mutual support and collective action. I advise "talking to strangers," making friends," "sharing our wealth," and taking political action to confront the daunting challenges that are posed to us all, collectively. As Hannah Arendt tells us in her wonderful book, On Revolution, we prosper and flourish when we help create the "public happiness" that is an accompanying sign of revolutionary change. You can read yesterday's blog posting for a discussion of Arendt's views on friendship, if you'd like to start learning what she says about that topic.

I think it is pretty clear that we do need "revolutionary" change. In other words, we need to recognize that the daunting realities listed out by Kessler are both real and unacceptable, and that we need to change them. To do that, we will need collective action - political action! Trying to find our best path to individual "self-enrichment" is not the way to solve our primary problems.

To make the kind of changes that are needed to overcome the daunting challenges we face will require "all hands on deck." We won't succeed if all we care about is our own individual ability to "prosper and flourish." 

Remember the Musketeers? Their watchword was, "One For All, and All For One." 

That is genuine wisdom.

Radical individualism - that "self-enrichment" and "narcissism" preached by Kessler - is a capitulation to despair, not an escape from it. 

oooOOOooo

COMMENTARY

Self-enrichment is an antidote to despair

By Stephen Kessler

 

Kindness, generosity, altruism, good works and volunteering never go out of style. Selfishness, belligerence, ruthlessness, vanity and corruption have unfortunately proved through the centuries to be endemic to the human condition (in Western civilization at least). The quest for self-improvement — spiritual, physical, professional, athletic, artistic — is a perennial theme of personal growth. The instinct to seek better conditions is what drives migrants to pursue the prospect of new lives in countries far from home. All these human traits and behaviors are evident almost everywhere at all times.

 

There is another kind of conduct that in my experience can give one the strength to carry on in turbulent atmospheric conditions; even to thrive in the most discouraging historic circumstances, as now. I’m thinking of self-enrichment — not financial but let’s call it cultural or intellectual or experiential self-development as both a means of flowering and of fortitude, and as an end in itself.

 

Self-indulgence gets a bad rap. We indulge ourselves when we commit ourselves to doing what we love. We lose ourselves in the act of engagement, and with luck the result is something useful or beautiful whose existence improves things in some small way. But it is in the process that we are enriched by our absolute engagement with the task, whether writing a poem or drafting a business plan, composing a symphony or designing a home, building a cabinet or cooking dinner. We are learning as we go; we are building experience and sharpening our skills; we are finding pleasure by solving problems. This is the kind of self-indulgence that benefits more than ourselves.

 

And let’s hear it for narcissism, whose original meaning has been perverted in its appropriation by clinicians to describe a certain kind of personality disorder, and in its contamination by sociopathic individuals who give it a bad name with their bad behavior. I’ve written before of the myth of Narcissus, a beautiful youth whose arrogance is softened by the sight of his own reflection. Although he drowns mistaking himself for another — which is also a parable of the hazards of infatuation — he is saved from a lifetime of meanness and is immortalized as a flower. Today’s pathological narcissists are unable to see themselves in the other, or can see themselves only in the reflection of others’ admiration. They never soften into empathy and can only be gratified at others’ expense.

 

When I think about what we’re in for in the coming months and years of extreme weather, endless wars, economic turmoil, legal drama, political chaos, social agitation and psychic pain, and wonder what I can do about it, the best thing I can think of is to live as if every minute counts as a chance to do something of value and to appreciate each moment of grace I’m afforded, or can create. In my line of work that has mostly involved using my practice as a reader and writer to enrich myself with tradition and try to transmit that richness in some form that may be of use to others — you, for example — either by revealing something you never thought of before in quite that way or raising uncomfortable questions that cause you to rethink your assumptions or simply providing a bit of interesting entertainment, as I can’t solve anyone else’s problems, change public policy or change the world.

 

Self-enrichment, for me (and it’s obviously different for different individuals), has come in the form of studying and writing about some artist or author, or gardening, or indulging myself in the pleasures of live music or in conversation with accomplished people from whom I can learn something new. The inspiration I feel, or strength I gain, or delight I take in and from such experience makes me feel less bad about the bad news in the media and gives me the courage to continue without illusions but with an affirmative sense of the present moment and the promise of the possible.

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Image Credit:

https://www.palomar.edu/telescope/2015/03/30/narcissus-a-mortal-son-of-gods/